Once upon a time in a land far far away there lived a rat named Franky. You see, Franky has some unfortunate habits that seem to get anyone around him in loads of trouble. The biggest issue, nobody sees it but me. They look at him and think he’s so cute with his little pudgy legs and squishable cheeks. I know better though, he may only be 3, but I know his…Okay Okay, so it isn’t that far away, it’s down on the corner of Main and Broadway, and he isn’t technically a rat, he’s my little brother, but you get the picture. Oh, you should probably know, he’s just a baby? And I use “just a baby” in the absolute loosest sense of the word. He may be short and wobbly but he’s no baby. He’s a mastermind capable of amazing and evil atrocities. Nobody can escape his will. When they are around him everyone seems to bow to his greatness and succumb to his every command.

Now I may only be 5, but I’ve been watching this kid for his whole life and he’s no angel. Within his first year he was a mind-controlling genius. One look into his eyes, and you’re a goner. Let me tell you how the story went, and you decide for yourself…

About 4 years ago my Mom and Pop came in and sat me down. Granted I was only 1 year and 4 months at the time but they always gave me the respect of talking to me like a normal human being. They said, “Look kid, we’re having another one. Your mom is happy, I’m happy, we’re hoping you will be happy too. What do you say?” …Being naive and ignorant at the time, I was pretty excited. I thought…and I hate to say it, but I thought the new kid could be my slave. I know, I know, but I was only 1 year and 4 months, what can I say. Anyway, back to the story.

So, 9 months pass and I’m now well into my 2s. I’ve got much more experience and months of planning, along with the dedication and attention of my loving and loyal parents. Things had been going pretty smooth I must say. Then the big day came. It started as a normal day, sleeping in, eating, pooping. You know, the usual stuff that makes the world go around. But then it happened, Mom looked at Pop, Pop looked back at Mom and they were out of the house faster and more excited than I’ve ever seen them. In the excitement, I was left sitting in my Throne of Awesomeness bouncing between the doorway. I should have known right then and there what was coming. I was too young and caught up in the moment to ever realize what would happen next.

My Pop did come back for me, but it took forever and I was starving. It had been at least 30 minutes since my last meal and now my personal vending machine was about to be out of commission having the next addition to our family. Luckily, there were still a few Cheerios stashed away in my ejection seat that I keep for emergencies like this. So, we race to the hospital, have little Franky, and now fast forward 6 months.

It started small with little things. Like, when Pops was drinking his soda, he used to give me a draw from that straw of energy. It felt great, like a rush of joy and excitement. But now Franky gets to taste this magical nectar first. He’s so subtle with his power and nobody sees it. With one whimper, people all around jump into action. It just makes me sick to think about what he’s doing.

Some time passed and Franky was about 2 when I saw that it might be getting worse. Sure enough, things really started to get out of control when the first lick of Ice cream began to go to Franky. I really took notice and understood what he was doing. He was taking over and it had to stop.

There was no way I was letting this little noob start taking my attention, love, and most importantly, my ice cream. At first, I thought, they’re my parents, they must love me. They will understand, I just need to remind them. So, the next time, when me and Franky were hanging out, we saw Pops with a brand-new Drumstick ice cream. As usual Pops took the first bite. Franky looked up and I saw his little mind go into action, he started with the, “I want some” moaning noise commands. These are generally very difficult to ignore so I knew I had to jump into action. As Pop’s hand was moving down with the Ice cream, I stepped in and took the first bite. Surely this will remind Pop’s that I’m here and will snap him out of this trance Franky has put on him. Surely, he will understand. But that’s when I realized, he is under the control of Franky and has no idea what was happening. He quickly took the ice cream away and said something confusing about “sharing”. Obviously, he was under mind control and he might be a lost cause.

I’ve got my eye on Franky and I know there will be a moment, that one moment, where I can take control back and save the world.

I can tell, you’re starting to see what I’m talking about aren’t you? He’s basically a powerful mind-controlling sorcerer. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you more about what Franky’s been up to, but for now, take my warning and stay AWAY…

 

© Michael Scheumack 2017